From the Pastor’s Corner
Stuck in the Mud. . . What’s Your Next Move??
Rev. Danny F. Ellis,
So many people come to me for professional and personal advice, especially when they are torn between career moves, job offers, long term commitments or appealing opportunities. I simply tell them that once you find your mission statement –the real reason that you are here then you can get beyond being stuck in the mud and make your next move. This is accomplished by navigating your way through these five stages:
Revelation: This is the stage where we discover our career, our companion, or some other opportunity of significance. Men are incredibly visual beings. We are inspired by what we see. In order to become more, we have to be exposed to more. The more that we see, the more strength to become more is released. The most powerful relationships that we have are with those who help us to see what we didn’t see before. A church or school or even a friend who unveils possibilities and potential becomes a limitless resource to those of us who are upwardly mobile. Often we meet someone or attain a position that unveils a new piece of the puzzle of who we are. We become blatantly aware that there is more to life than what we have seen before. In this stage what is unveiled to you is a challenge you accept as falling within your scope of your own sense of purpose. If you stop here you are doomed to remain a voyeur in life. Regret comes to those of us who saw opportunity but lacked power, the will, and intestinal fortitude to go beyond the moment t the next stage.
Inspiration: Provides more of the fuel that is used to ignite the passion needed to overcome the inevitable struggles that stand between us and our next conquest. This second stage expresses a heart condition that’s indicative of our new interest; This is our letter of intent. In relationships, this is the moment of impact when you decide to take it to the next level. This is the stage when a guy asks for a phone number, or it may be the stage when he gets his feelings hurt. In your career, this is when you decide to commit more deeply to one area of specialization or even one company. It may be the point when resumes are passed or interviews set up. Regardless of what’s at stake, this is an important stage, as many people lack the passion to go after what they have realized in the first stage. These perpetual procrastinators never seem to gather the momentum necessary to achieve because they lack the inspiration to overcome adversity. People need to be inspired and motivated. People need to be inspired to achieve their dreams. It does not give you the ream; it empowers the dreams that have been revealed to you in the previous stage. Inspiration is often the catalyst of action.
Formalization: This is the point where the issue evolved to the degree that it requires a more formalized commitment. You have sat here long enough contemplating your next move. It’s time to act. It’s time to “pee or get off the pot”. This is the point where you sign the deal. Many women say that they’ve known men who failed to reach this third stage. This is not about romance; this is about who pays the bills; who takes the children to school and who washes the car. When a person doesn’t make to the third stage, he becomes trapped on a perpetual treadmill of repeating the first two stages. Like the failing student, he is left back in school, repeating a class but never passing it. He is forever dating but never commits to a formalized loving relationship. Some are always starting new vocation, new careers. They have great ideas but no follow through, give great interviews but make terrible employees. They are stuck in a remedial class of life, always repeating the course, making promises but never the commitment. This is not a question of whether you have the skills, nor is it simply a matter of possessing the dream. Rather, this is more centered around the crucial question “does the dream possess you”? Does it possess you enough to sacrifice to make it functional and formal? In employment, it requires the hard work of fitting into the culture of the company and integrating your skills into a new environment. You are in, you are there, you are part of the company, part of the institution, which brings us to our fourth stage.
Institutionalization: This is the point where the trouble often begins. When things become institutionalized they can lose their savor and become mundane. Subtle deterioration begins. Enthusiasm is nonexistent. On the job they are there solely for the paycheck. There is no innovation. The ideas are stale and the passion evaporated. If you are not careful then it leads to the final stage of crystallization.
Crystallization: Occurs when deterioration has taken its toll. There is little left that functions the way that it once did. Most people do not know how to rebound from this fossilized stage. However, if we can take an old love life into a new environment, we often can reignite it. Or perhaps the company offers a new position that starts the engine of creativity flowing again, and we can go back to the first stage. I have learned that even great employees need new challenges to reignite their passions and enhance performance. This perpetual cycle affects our finances, family, fun and our future.
I challenge you to begin to design an environment that is conducive to where you are going. Most of us are stuck because we live in an environment that is based on where we have been. We may even cling to places from our past and “retro” relationships that retard our progress. A healthy environment must include people who will support and encourage you, challenge and stimulate you. If you reposition yourself successfully, then you must begin today to build a support system that is based not on what you did wrong, but on where you intend to go. Do you have the right people around you for where you are going? Identify those who can help you. The wrong way to approach them is from a place of neediness. Rather ask yourself what you have to offer them, how you can make their lives better. People love to be around others who give to them and feel better about giving to those who are themselves generous.
We are all underdogs, in a sense, for if we accept what life dictates to us, then statistics can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if we dare to rise above and beyond the limitations of our lives, then we grow stronger and wiser, more willing to dream and dream big. No matter how unfair life seems or how often you may have failed in the past, you can still change and improve your life. And not only change, but grow into the best, most authentic version of yourself that you can be. My friend, it’s time to stop feeling that odds are stacked against you and time to start stacking the odds in your favor.
Danny F. Ellis
Excerpts from T.D. Jakes “Repositioning Yourself”
